Inbox the Second

[guylining]

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Inbox the First

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[guylining]

john i'm serious

[fireshow]

maybe i’m just this way
ever think about that?

[guylining]

you weren't, before you died.

people can change and that's okay
but maybe this isn't that, maybe this is because you haven't dealt with what happened to you. that's what worries me.

[fireshow]

maybe you should just stop

[guylining]

i will. i promise, i'll stop talking

i just want you to think about it please

[fireshow]

i don’t need to think about it
you’re just overthinking

[guylining]

you trust me, right?

[fireshow]

why can’t you just let people do what they want?
even if that means not feeling anything

[guylining]

because sometimes what people want is really bad for them

and that can be okay like
nothing would make me stop loving you or wanting to be with you
nothing would make me stop caring about you.
you can do whatever you want and it won't ever change any of that

but when you love someone and you're worried they're in trouble you've got to try and do something about it. i've got to.

[fireshow]

you want to know what i think?

[ rip this could be a trap. ]

[guylining]

yeah of course i do

[fireshow]

i think you and caliban deserve better

[guylining]

you're wrong

john any time i've doubted myself, any time i thought low of myself, you were the person telling me i didn't have to change and i was good the way i am
that was you

there isn't better. i love you, the way you are, and the only reason i'm worried about you is because i don't think you've been yourself

no one could do better than you. i mean that.

[fireshow]

i'm sorry
i don't mean to get this way
to try and burn you or caliban
but i can't stop when i get like this
not until it's too late usually

[guylining]

you say that like it's news

i know who you are
i love you
you can't burn our bridge it's fireproof
i'm not walking away from you. ever.

[fireshow]

maybe you'll run away instead of walk

[guylining]

bet you i wont.

i love caliban
i do, he's been there for me, we have a connection that i never expected but it is there

and none of that changes how much i love you. or our connection.
i know there's nothing i could do to chase you away, you really think i'd give you less?

[fireshow]

the cynical part of me doesn't really believe that

[guylining]

i know
that's why i'll prove it, every time

[fireshow]

guess we'll see

[guylining]

you will see.

[fireshow]

i don't know why either of you choose to put up with this
it's not like i'll magically get better with it
not like i'll stop having moods
or want to burn everything around me
where some days i want relationship things
and other days
i don't

[guylining]

idk why you think any of that makes you unlovable

do you know that like. every time i've been down you were there for me
like even before we were together. when stephen day left me you were the one building me back up and telling me i deserved better
you got angry for me
you were never shy about what you thought or what you felt, ever
you knew i loved nick scratch and you still didn't hold back what you thought about him

i know you have moods
it's why when you tell me you don't care and you don't feel anything, i know somethings wrong
because that's not you
and i love you
the real you
moods and all, and i always will

[fireshow]

you like when i'm being an asshole basically

[guylining]

and when you're loving and when you're loyal
and when you're happy