[ John's on the couch there in the private room he has for himself at The Gray Room. A thing he'd asked of Caliban when he just needed to be alone. A safe place for him to be where he wouldn't hurt himself with the strange company of others on the streets. ]
There's a lot in his head, that's not a lie. There's serious depression surrounding the void where Nick was, and there's a lot of anxiety around what happened to him in Veracity, how it reminded him of hell. He envisions a very firm lock around all of that, as well as his feelings for other people. He concentrates on his love for John.
He looks at him, meets his eyes, and lets his focus be on the trust he has for him, his comfort in being near him, the strong note of his attraction to him, the need that never goes away. The softness and warmth, the loyalty, the desire to make things right for him. He imagines a bubble around those feelings, and then speaks a spell that makes his hands glow with purple energy. He holds them out, palms up. They're a window into the bubble inside him that's just John. ]
[ This is a sort of newness they haven't really had or done with each other. Truthfully, he hasn't seen much in the way of Nate's magic, but. That doesn't mean he's scared of it or even wary of it. It's a part of Nate just as the fire he manipulates is a part of him, even if it doesn't come from him.
Looking to the soft glow of purple there on the other's hands, he looks up to him in silence for a moment before he slowly reaches out and places his hands atop Nate's. ]
[ Nate's hands will feel warm. As soon as they touch, a connection opens up between them, like a doorway opening to that bubble of feeling. It'll flower in John, like his own feelings but with something foreign to it, something that feels unlike himself. Nate runs his thumbs against John's hands, letting Kohn decide when he wants to let go. ]
[ Despite his being able to manipulate fire, John isn't magical. Not like Nate and certainly not like this. So when he begins to feel something - when something seemingly spills over into him, his breath hitches and he looks up from their hands to Nate. ]
[ Spells with a psychic edge don't come all that naturally to Nate. He has to work hard with them, has to concentrate. It's hard to just relax. His face shows the strain of that focus, but his hands are very gentle. One of them moves up to touch John's face. ]
That's me. Just let it show you. I love you, John.
[ There's a flare at those words, like heat but inside. It gets stronger the more he touches him, and strikes hot when he leans in to kiss him. The kids is gentle, but it makes the feeling surge. ]
[ Again, his breath hitches when he feels that spike — that surge coming from Nate and bleeding into him. It’s difficult to explain, what he feels, but he figures it’s because what he feels is coming from Nate in a way that isn’t physical, but emotional and it’s strange but not in a bad way. It’s the words Nate gives to him, followed by that kiss that has him pressing his forehead to the other man’s — nuzzling him almost as he sweetly kisses him back and he feels so much more calm when doing so. As if every negative thought and doubt and whisper has been silenced or, reassured to the point where they don’t bother to argue back. ]
I know. I can feel it. [ Eyes having fallen shut, he opens them slowly, looking to Nate as he does. ] I can feel you.
[ Nate nods. His hands stay on John, and he moves to gently lean against him. ]
You talk about your moods, but you're good at dealing with mine. I trust you. I would ruin anyone who hurt you. Don't ever think I'd be fine without you. All of this is how much I need you.
[ He closes his eyes, and lets himself settle into the feeling of being against John. It makes the warmth being shared between them calm, turning settled and easy and at home. It's strong, but there's something soothing about it. When Nate's with John like this, that's how he feels. ]
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Okay.
My head is a whole lot of shit, John. You only want to feel how I feel for you, right?
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Yeah. That was my thought.
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There's a lot in his head, that's not a lie. There's serious depression surrounding the void where Nick was, and there's a lot of anxiety around what happened to him in Veracity, how it reminded him of hell. He envisions a very firm lock around all of that, as well as his feelings for other people. He concentrates on his love for John.
He looks at him, meets his eyes, and lets his focus be on the trust he has for him, his comfort in being near him, the strong note of his attraction to him, the need that never goes away. The softness and warmth, the loyalty, the desire to make things right for him. He imagines a bubble around those feelings, and then speaks a spell that makes his hands glow with purple energy. He holds them out, palms up. They're a window into the bubble inside him that's just John. ]
Okay. Take my hands when you're ready.
no subject
Looking to the soft glow of purple there on the other's hands, he looks up to him in silence for a moment before he slowly reaches out and places his hands atop Nate's. ]
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Is that... you?
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That's me. Just let it show you. I love you, John.
[ There's a flare at those words, like heat but inside. It gets stronger the more he touches him, and strikes hot when he leans in to kiss him. The kids is gentle, but it makes the feeling surge. ]
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I know. I can feel it. [ Eyes having fallen shut, he opens them slowly, looking to Nate as he does. ] I can feel you.
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You talk about your moods, but you're good at dealing with mine. I trust you. I would ruin anyone who hurt you. Don't ever think I'd be fine without you. All of this is how much I need you.
[ He closes his eyes, and lets himself settle into the feeling of being against John. It makes the warmth being shared between them calm, turning settled and easy and at home. It's strong, but there's something soothing about it. When Nate's with John like this, that's how he feels. ]