[ there's something about his smile that settles everything that's been unsettled inside her and she moves her mouth against his, tugging his lower lip into her mouth gently before letting him go. ]
Not letting enough people in? [ her lips twist as she doesn't exactly smile, but it's close. she knows what he means, but she has mixed feelings on being told something like that. ] I'm guessing he didn't mean the kitchen.
[ His smile is knowing. Hope is not among the people he had been keeping out. She's trusted. For a long time, he's felt that she understood him. ]
Since I came back, from...it's hard to be as open about everything as I used to be. I keep leaning on the same people. Maybe that means...if it's been too much, on you, I'm sorry for it.
[ she suspects she isn't, but she understands what it means to lean on someone. to need to have people.
shaking her head, she rests her hands on the countertop. ]
You're never too much for me. [ there's a pause as she visibly thinks on what to say. ] I think we all have people we lean on, people we just... [ she takes a deep breath and shakes her head. ] I don't know, trust? Who know us. Know we won't judge us when we're not always ourselves.
[ giving a shrug, she folds her arms across her chest and gives him a tender smile. ] If that makes sense.
My empathy bond with Nick, I need to do something about it. The void where he should be is just...heartbreaking, all the time. But severing it would be worse, so. I wanted to ask if you would help me suppress it.
[ her brow furrows and she comes around the edge of the counter to stand closer to him, concern in her tone. ] I'm not sure that suppressing it would be the best thing, Nate. It'd still just be an empty space inside you, waiting for something to fill it. It'd just be a temporary fix.
[ pressing her lips together, she thinks. ] We could... fill it with Nick? I mean, memories of Nick. Feelings, emotions, things that you might not actively remember, but are just there-- [ she motions to his head, then his heart. ] Out of reach.
[ It might. The space wouldn't feel empty anymore. It'd feel like Nick, even if it wasn't exactly a living Nick. Nate looks down at her, eyes searching his. ]
We could try. I'd be up for that, it...would feel a lot better than the emptiness, I'm sure.
[ it's something she's only done in pieces before, not something she's done to fill an entire empathy bond, but she doesn't doubt the spell or her own abilities. ]
I want you to hurt less and anything I can do to help with that, I will. I think cutting it off would just delay it or make it worse in the end, but this way, he's always there.
[ despite everything, the trust nate has in her still pulls at her heart. she's aware that, after everything, she doesn't deserve that trust - that even nick would be appalled at the idea of nate letting hope do this - but she wants this for him almost as much as he wants it.
turning her hand over, she holds his in it, threading their fingers together. ] Whenever you're ready, it won't take time, just a lot of emotional effort.
[ He squeezes her hand. Then he lifts it, and kisses her knuckles, and then moves to wrap his arms around her.
It's true, Nick wouldn't want her doing this to him. Nick hadn't trusted her, he'd never forgiven her for killing Michael. But Nate had gotten close to her, even then. She'd been a wild card without her humanity, but he'd put a rein around her, and she hadn't lashed out at him. She hadn't tried to fight him, and she could've. She could have struck at him with magic. She could've cursed others, leveraged that against him. But she hadn't. Hope hadn't been evil, even when she lacked boundaries. He'd liked her. The darkest part of her doesn't scare him. Maybe that's why he trusts her with the most intimate, private parts of himself.
His chin settles on her shoulder. ]
This isn't why you came, though. It saves me...starting that conversation, but. It's not what brought you here.
[ her hold on him tightens just a little after he says it because it's exactly that. saying it out loud means that someone's probably heard it and it'll be used against them, one of them will disappear, fall into a coma, or have some other disaster visited upon them. she can't verbalize what it'd do to her if he was the next one to vanish from the city so she simply holds on and nods again. ]
I love you, too. [ it's quiet. the last person she'd said it to is gone and all she has left is memories and a house.
tilting her head back to look up at him, she shakes her head once. ] Don't disappear tomorrow.
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You said that.
[ He leans in to kiss her, as if all of this were planned. ]
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You know how to make a girl feel welcome.
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I think it depends on the girl. [ It's not everyone he would react to like this. Sure, he'd be friendly. This is more than friendly. ]
Are you okay? Not that I'm not enjoying the surprise, but...
Nothing bad's happened, has it?
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[ she pulls back just a little, hand resting at his elbow. ]
I was just reminded of. [ a breath. ] Everything that happened recently, there and here, and I wanted to see you. See how you were. What you needed.
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I need...I don't know.
[ He glances at the remnants of the demolished wall between this kitchen and the new house. Everything feels so transitional right now. ]
No, I do know. I was...actually going to ask you to help me with something, I was just still. Wrestling with it, I suppose.
I'm not...okay, but I will be. I got in some trouble with Chris for not letting enough people in, I have to work on that.
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Not letting enough people in? [ her lips twist as she doesn't exactly smile, but it's close. she knows what he means, but she has mixed feelings on being told something like that. ] I'm guessing he didn't mean the kitchen.
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[ His smile is knowing. Hope is not among the people he had been keeping out. She's trusted. For a long time, he's felt that she understood him. ]
Since I came back, from...it's hard to be as open about everything as I used to be. I keep leaning on the same people. Maybe that means...if it's been too much, on you, I'm sorry for it.
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shaking her head, she rests her hands on the countertop. ]
You're never too much for me. [ there's a pause as she visibly thinks on what to say. ] I think we all have people we lean on, people we just... [ she takes a deep breath and shakes her head. ] I don't know, trust? Who know us. Know we won't judge us when we're not always ourselves.
[ giving a shrug, she folds her arms across her chest and gives him a tender smile. ] If that makes sense.
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It does. I trust you.
[ He takes a breath. ]
My empathy bond with Nick, I need to do something about it. The void where he should be is just...heartbreaking, all the time. But severing it would be worse, so. I wanted to ask if you would help me suppress it.
That's what I was working up to.
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[ her brow furrows and she comes around the edge of the counter to stand closer to him, concern in her tone. ] I'm not sure that suppressing it would be the best thing, Nate. It'd still just be an empty space inside you, waiting for something to fill it. It'd just be a temporary fix.
[ pressing her lips together, she thinks. ] We could... fill it with Nick? I mean, memories of Nick. Feelings, emotions, things that you might not actively remember, but are just there-- [ she motions to his head, then his heart. ] Out of reach.
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You think that would work?
[ It might. The space wouldn't feel empty anymore. It'd feel like Nick, even if it wasn't exactly a living Nick. Nate looks down at her, eyes searching his. ]
We could try. I'd be up for that, it...would feel a lot better than the emptiness, I'm sure.
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[ it's something she's only done in pieces before, not something she's done to fill an entire empathy bond, but she doesn't doubt the spell or her own abilities. ]
I want you to hurt less and anything I can do to help with that, I will. I think cutting it off would just delay it or make it worse in the end, but this way, he's always there.
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This, though. If this works, it would help more than anything.
He touches her hand. ]
That's what I want. And I trust you, I don't...trust many people, with my head. But you're good at this. I'd feel safe.
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[ despite everything, the trust nate has in her still pulls at her heart. she's aware that, after everything, she doesn't deserve that trust - that even nick would be appalled at the idea of nate letting hope do this - but she wants this for him almost as much as he wants it.
turning her hand over, she holds his in it, threading their fingers together. ] Whenever you're ready, it won't take time, just a lot of emotional effort.
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[ He squeezes her hand. Then he lifts it, and kisses her knuckles, and then moves to wrap his arms around her.
It's true, Nick wouldn't want her doing this to him. Nick hadn't trusted her, he'd never forgiven her for killing Michael. But Nate had gotten close to her, even then. She'd been a wild card without her humanity, but he'd put a rein around her, and she hadn't lashed out at him. She hadn't tried to fight him, and she could've. She could have struck at him with magic. She could've cursed others, leveraged that against him. But she hadn't. Hope hadn't been evil, even when she lacked boundaries. He'd liked her. The darkest part of her doesn't scare him. Maybe that's why he trusts her with the most intimate, private parts of himself.
His chin settles on her shoulder. ]
This isn't why you came, though. It saves me...starting that conversation, but. It's not what brought you here.
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with her arms loosely around his waist, she rests there against him and shakes her head lightly. ] Just wanted to see you. Wanted this.
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I love you, you know.
I feel like I'm not supposed to say it. Because of everyone we've both lost, it's. Like playing with fire.
But if I disappeared tomorrow, I'd want to know that you knew.
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I love you, too. [ it's quiet. the last person she'd said it to is gone and all she has left is memories and a house.
tilting her head back to look up at him, she shakes her head once. ] Don't disappear tomorrow.