[ Nate sets his hand on Thorn's chest, and his fingers move gently, flicking through the smattering of fine hair. He turns his head to kiss his shoulder, and then rests there.
Thoughts come to him slowly, as he wakes. This is dangerous. He doesn't really want to be thinking.
But he can't help it. ]
I know you're...Ineroth, [ He says, his tone careful. ] But you're him. You're Thorn. You even smile like him, it can't just be an act.
I didn't lie. Thorn is a piece of me. I'm a piece of him.
It's not an act.... ( he answers softly. carefully. )
But that doesn't mean I'm the way you remember Thorn. We're both changed by each other. I'll never be me again and... he's not the exact same man you remember either. ( we. we aren't the exact same man. )
[ It's a question he never would've asked of Thorn, never would've had the need to ask. But Ineroth had hunted him for years, had wanted to consume him and his magic until there was nothing left. ]
Thorn hesitates... then gives a brief nod. ) I'm not called insatiable because I choose to never be satisfied. It's the nature of my demonic being. I can't be. And I don't know what that means long-term.
Or worse in this fucking city that seems designed to pull the worst out of a person. ( he snarls. )
So, then I'll help you, [ he says, as though that's a foregone conclusion. ] I'll be here, and I won't let you get out of control. You can manage it, I know you can.
[ Nate looks down, but he presses closer to Thorn. ]
I've been attacked, I've been killed. I'm not dismissing the threat, but I don't think...avoiding each other is the answer. I'll still be under threat. I'd rather be by your side than not.
[ Nate looks up at him. He's aware that he's getting upset, that emotion is starting to win out over reason and he's not keeping a clear head.
He still keeps going. ]
Just because you're also...something else, doesn't mean you're not everything I fell in love with.
I can't just stay away from you, and after last night, I don't think you can stay away from me either. So we just have to work this out some other way.
( he can't stay away. the last month away has been painful. knowing Nate was here too. just out of reach...
he can't. he can't let his emotion and Nate's lead them down a dangerous path.
but Nate isn't wrong. last night proved they can't stay away from each other. )
You can't let me hurt you Nate. If this city makes me dangerous to you, you have to abandon me until I'm better again. Or kill me. You can't let me hurt you. I can't live with that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
So he leans into it, eyes closing, tension leaving him in a soft exhale. ]
No, just shifting, [ He murmurs, and leans his head back against Thorn's shoulder. ] I can stay.
no subject
but Nate feels so good in his arms.
he rests his cheek against his head tentatively. ) If you like.... a little longer can't hurt.
no subject
Thoughts come to him slowly, as he wakes. This is dangerous. He doesn't really want to be thinking.
But he can't help it. ]
I know you're...Ineroth, [ He says, his tone careful. ] But you're him. You're Thorn. You even smile like him, it can't just be an act.
no subject
It's not an act.... ( he answers softly. carefully. )
But that doesn't mean I'm the way you remember Thorn. We're both changed by each other. I'll never be me again and... he's not the exact same man you remember either. ( we. we aren't the exact same man. )
no subject
Do you still want to hurt me?
[ It's a question he never would've asked of Thorn, never would've had the need to ask. But Ineroth had hunted him for years, had wanted to consume him and his magic until there was nothing left. ]
Will you hurt me?
no subject
and he can't lie when Nate looks at him like that. asks him so clearly. )
Never on purpose. ( he says softly. then closes his eyes. )
But I am a demon, Nate. My very nature makes me dangerous, whether I like it or not. There's no off switch for it.
no subject
He'd thought Thorn was pushing him away because the part of him that was Ineroth still hated him. Maybe that's not true at all. ]
Are you afraid? [ He says, quietly. ] Of...being what you are. Of what...your nature makes you want?
no subject
Thorn hesitates... then gives a brief nod. ) I'm not called insatiable because I choose to never be satisfied. It's the nature of my demonic being. I can't be. And I don't know what that means long-term.
Or worse in this fucking city that seems designed to pull the worst out of a person. ( he snarls. )
no subject
What does that mean for you here? What is it that you're...craving?
Because people come back to life here. Not all of them, but most.
[ Nate had. ]
no subject
Food. Vitality. Power. All those things I can fill my body with.
It's always there, Nate. ( he says softly. )
no subject
Then his fingers splay on Thorn's chest. ]
So, then I'll help you, [ he says, as though that's a foregone conclusion. ] I'll be here, and I won't let you get out of control. You can manage it, I know you can.
no subject
This city has different things that effect judgement and control.
You can't help with that.
no subject
[ Nate looks up at him, meeting his eyes. ]
None of this means we should be apart. You're still you. Even if you're also him, you're you.
no subject
no subject
[ Nate reaches up to deactivate his eyebrow charm, making that scar visible. Ragged and ugly, it cuts a diagonal line across his throat. ]
To open this again? To kill me. Is that what you'll do?
no subject
How will you stop them?
no subject
[ Nate looks down, but he presses closer to Thorn. ]
I've been attacked, I've been killed. I'm not dismissing the threat, but I don't think...avoiding each other is the answer. I'll still be under threat. I'd rather be by your side than not.
no subject
his fingers dig into Nate's side, holding him closer. ) I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you. Even knowing they forced me to.
no subject
Well, not for nothing, but I fended you off for a very long time.
Thorn, I love you. I can't just pretend like I don't, or that you're not here, or any of that.
no subject
I'm not the same man you fell in love with, though.
no subject
[ Nate looks up at him. He's aware that he's getting upset, that emotion is starting to win out over reason and he's not keeping a clear head.
He still keeps going. ]
Just because you're also...something else, doesn't mean you're not everything I fell in love with.
I can't just stay away from you, and after last night, I don't think you can stay away from me either. So we just have to work this out some other way.
no subject
he can't. he can't let his emotion and Nate's lead them down a dangerous path.
but Nate isn't wrong. last night proved they can't stay away from each other. )
You can't let me hurt you Nate. If this city makes me dangerous to you, you have to abandon me until I'm better again. Or kill me. You can't let me hurt you. I can't live with that.
no subject
So then I'll find a way to stop you, if it comes to that. I can do that.
What I can't do is abandon you, abandon us. I'm supposed to be with you. You know I am.
no subject
but it's Nate. they were together for years.
he's not wrong. they're meant to be together. ) Just... stop me. All right? Don't let me...
( but he doesn't finish the thought. instead he dips his head down to catch Nate's lips and kiss him deeply )
no subject
I promise. [ He feels a little breathless, but he knows it's important to get this out. ] I'll stop you, I'll take care of you, I promise.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)