[Coming over, he sits down so he can listen. Of course he doesn't stop him from drinking. Why would he?
The tale is different from his own. The social structure, the forcing of marriage and so on... Yet there's things that ring familiar and it leaves a sour taste in his mouth as he remembers his life as a human before his escape to Paris.]
[ Nate looks at him for a moment, before looking away. How he wishes he could say yes, to that. ]
When I was little, I used to do magic in front of my friends. If just show them. I never meant harm by it, but mum would go mad. She'd wipe their memories, and they'd forget me. Then eventually, I stopped. It got easy to lie to people. But then I broke my arm, one day. I was seven. Some other kid was bullying me, I can't even remember his name. We can fix broken bones like that.
[ He snaps his fingers. ]
All it takes is one of those potions I drink. But mum wouldn't give it to me, because then people would know. That was the first time it's really hit me that the secret was more important than me. Than any of us. That was the day I started teaching myself.
I did that for years, secretly. Every time I got caught, and at first I got caught a lot, she'd curse me. Little corrections, she called them. So I got good at countercurses. I got good at all curses. And the more I learned the more I just wanted to show people. But I was alone. And the other witch kids, they didn't want to know. They were happy doing what they were told, and I didn't understand why no one else wanted more.
I took the, um. The money, that was meant to pay for uni, and bought a penthouse in London. It was done, I'd hidden it, I just needed to make the jump. But I knew I'd never see my sister again, and she was the only person who'd ever really...
I hadn't moved. But then I came here, and that put an end to that.
God, pieces of your story sound like mine so many years ago.
[Lestat isn't trying to make this about himself. But when he sees aspects of this he truly sees himself in them. Pieces of his mortal life. Of trying to run and being dragged back. Of being expected to suffer without knowing more of the world.
How has he never known these similarities? It seems such a crime now.
Reaching out, he takes his hand, threads their fingers together. Importantly, it's the hand that has the sun ring on it.]
You were pulled here before you could leave then? You hadn't found a solution for your sister?
[ He lets him take his hand. His eyes fix on the ring for a moment, the ring that he made. A one off, he'd thought at the time, except that on Lestat's request he made one for Louis, too. He touches it briefly with his thumb, before leaning back against Lestat a little. ]
I said we were at the top of the pyramid. Witches are matriarchal. Mum was head of our family, but my sister, she was next. She was to be the Supreme.
I wanted her to leave with me. She talked like she wanted to, but always like it was a dream. I fought against every rule, I learned the magic forbidden to us, I pushed and pushed all the time and she wouldn't. She didn't hate me for it, and she was the only one, and I love her for it. But she won't leave with me. She can't walk away.
So I have to leave her, if I want to leave them. And I don't know how to choose, to leave her. Duplicity made the choice for me. I love her, so much. And she's the only one who ever loved me, the only family. I don't want to leave her. But I can't spend my life in that cage. I need more, Lestat. I'm desperate for it.
That was what Gabrielle was to me. My only shining light in a world of darkness. But she could not just leave the life she knew. In the end, I had to leave her behind. Which, of course, you know.
[Lestat wraps his arm around him, bringing his fingers up to play with his hair. His other hand remains holding Nate's.]
You are too beautiful to be kept in a cage though. You should have so much more and there is too much world out there to be yours.
[Supporting Nate easily, he presses a kiss to his hair before resting his cheek against it.]
You shouldn't. You belong free like this. I've been so drawn to your freedom, even without realizing that it was because it was something I was so familiar with.
[He smiles a little, closing his eyes.]
I should have asked you all of this sooner. Truly I should have.
[Leaning into that warm hand, he opens his eyes so he can look at him.]
It's alright. Xichen is a lot stronger now than when he arrived. I suppose I was rather protective when I didn't need to be. Perhaps I've grown attached to the idea of being his guardian spirit.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. Strange, no? But I confess that I love so strongly it pains me at times. It must sound so dramatic yet I mean what I say.
[He shudders from the touch. Having sensitive skin always does wonders for enjoying touch. It helps that he's such a tactile creature to begin with, longing for that touch he was so denied growing up.
Cupping Nate's head with both his hands, he leans into the kiss. He doesn't apply heat or urgency to it, just wanting to savor the feel of those lips against his own.]
[ It feels nice. It's softer and sweeter than anything they've done before. It'd be easy to get wrapped up in it. He parts his lips to deepen it, to lick into Lestat's mouth and taste him. ]
[Of course he lets out a soft sound, happy to follow Nate's lead. His lips part and he accepts his love, tasting him and pushing his fingers up into his hair. They've never been with each other like this yet Lestat finds that he loves it just as much.
It's comforting in a way, how easy it is to fall into this tenderness. He likes that.]
[ He kisses him until his lips are tingling with it, until the brush of their tongues draws a groan from him. Their lips don't part until he needs to draw breath, and even then he barely moves away.
Then he moves his arms around Lestat in a tight embrace, pulling himself close against his marble chest and staying there. ]
[He doesn't need air anymore yet he finds himself breathless all the same. His eyes have closed at some point too but he's not sure when that happened even as he opens them to look at Nate.
Holding him close, he smiles gently at him.]
I'd like to stay here a bit with you. Even if we do nothing but sit here like this.
[Lestat isn't say more can't be an option. Simply that he's equally happy this way too. It's nice. Something he and Nate simply...haven't done before.]
[ Nate's never felt this close to him - physically or in any other way. This is an intimacy he's only known with three other people, and his feelings for them run deep, to say the least.
He tucks his head in against Lestat's shoulder, pressing his forehead against his throat. Trust is something that matters to him. So is intimacy. ]
I'd like that.
[ Then, softly, words pressed against his throat: ]
[He's just started playing with Nate's hair when he hears those words. It's been months and he's been waiting to hear them. This certainly isn't how he pictured it would happen yet...
And yet this is so perfect.
He lets out a startled little laugh then goes back to what he was doing.]
God, you actually can surprise me still. I didn't think it possible.
[But then he's relaxing again, settling in to savor the moment.]
[ Nate looks up at him and smiles, pleased by that response. Warmed, too. He likes Lestat's hand in his hair and tilts into that a bit, relaxing against him. ]
I know it does. I know you. I'm sorry it took me so long.
[ He just doesn't say it easily. He never has, because Nate has rarely felt loved, and so when he feels it himself, it's something special. ]
[ Nate thinks that he's not sure if that's true, and that he certainly doesn't think everyone would think so. But that's the point, isn't it? That's why this matters.
Nate leans forward to kiss the hand lifting his hair. He looks happy now, his sadness chased away. ]
I'm glad you were willing to. I know how you like being a monster, Lestat. But you're actually a really good man.
[Lestat rolls his eyes in the most dramatic fashion, rolling his head back as he groans. It's the most put on display and they both know what an act it is.]
Oh God don't go sharing that. I have a reputation as a bad boy, you know!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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The tale is different from his own. The social structure, the forcing of marriage and so on... Yet there's things that ring familiar and it leaves a sour taste in his mouth as he remembers his life as a human before his escape to Paris.]
What happened? Did you break free at all?
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When I was little, I used to do magic in front of my friends. If just show them. I never meant harm by it, but mum would go mad. She'd wipe their memories, and they'd forget me. Then eventually, I stopped. It got easy to lie to people. But then I broke my arm, one day. I was seven. Some other kid was bullying me, I can't even remember his name. We can fix broken bones like that.
[ He snaps his fingers. ]
All it takes is one of those potions I drink. But mum wouldn't give it to me, because then people would know. That was the first time it's really hit me that the secret was more important than me. Than any of us. That was the day I started teaching myself.
I did that for years, secretly. Every time I got caught, and at first I got caught a lot, she'd curse me. Little corrections, she called them. So I got good at countercurses. I got good at all curses. And the more I learned the more I just wanted to show people. But I was alone. And the other witch kids, they didn't want to know. They were happy doing what they were told, and I didn't understand why no one else wanted more.
I took the, um. The money, that was meant to pay for uni, and bought a penthouse in London. It was done, I'd hidden it, I just needed to make the jump. But I knew I'd never see my sister again, and she was the only person who'd ever really...
I hadn't moved. But then I came here, and that put an end to that.
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[Lestat isn't trying to make this about himself. But when he sees aspects of this he truly sees himself in them. Pieces of his mortal life. Of trying to run and being dragged back. Of being expected to suffer without knowing more of the world.
How has he never known these similarities? It seems such a crime now.
Reaching out, he takes his hand, threads their fingers together. Importantly, it's the hand that has the sun ring on it.]
You were pulled here before you could leave then? You hadn't found a solution for your sister?
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I said we were at the top of the pyramid. Witches are matriarchal. Mum was head of our family, but my sister, she was next. She was to be the Supreme.
I wanted her to leave with me. She talked like she wanted to, but always like it was a dream. I fought against every rule, I learned the magic forbidden to us, I pushed and pushed all the time and she wouldn't. She didn't hate me for it, and she was the only one, and I love her for it. But she won't leave with me. She can't walk away.
So I have to leave her, if I want to leave them. And I don't know how to choose, to leave her. Duplicity made the choice for me. I love her, so much. And she's the only one who ever loved me, the only family. I don't want to leave her. But I can't spend my life in that cage. I need more, Lestat. I'm desperate for it.
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[Lestat wraps his arm around him, bringing his fingers up to play with his hair. His other hand remains holding Nate's.]
You are too beautiful to be kept in a cage though. You should have so much more and there is too much world out there to be yours.
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He leans back into Lestat, against his chest. Contact. Ever since he came back, he's craved it more than ever before. ]
I read all your books. You were brilliant. You escaped, and you ran to the stage. That was everything I wanted.
I hope I never go home, honestly. But if I do, I'll leave and go to London. I can't wait anymore, and I won't.
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You shouldn't. You belong free like this. I've been so drawn to your freedom, even without realizing that it was because it was something I was so familiar with.
[He smiles a little, closing his eyes.]
I should have asked you all of this sooner. Truly I should have.
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It's not everyone I'd tell. My name doesn't mean a thing here, and I still bloody hate it.
I know it shouldn't bleed into sex. It's not like being topped doesn't feel good, I know it does, it's just. Stupid.
[ He leans up, though, and kisses Lestat's cheek. He's forgiven. ]
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[The kiss is nice though and he shifts so he can kiss his lips a moment later.]
Even my past bleeds in to my present no matter how I pretend it doesn't.
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I wish it didn't. I'm sorry for going off on your friend.
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It's alright. Xichen is a lot stronger now than when he arrived. I suppose I was rather protective when I didn't need to be. Perhaps I've grown attached to the idea of being his guardian spirit.
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He couldn't have a better one. I know how much you care about people you love. I love that about you, you know?
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Yeah. I know you do.
[ He leans on to kiss him again, still sweet and still soft, fingers trailing gently over his neck. ]
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Cupping Nate's head with both his hands, he leans into the kiss. He doesn't apply heat or urgency to it, just wanting to savor the feel of those lips against his own.]
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It's comforting in a way, how easy it is to fall into this tenderness. He likes that.]
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Then he moves his arms around Lestat in a tight embrace, pulling himself close against his marble chest and staying there. ]
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Holding him close, he smiles gently at him.]
I'd like to stay here a bit with you. Even if we do nothing but sit here like this.
[Lestat isn't say more can't be an option. Simply that he's equally happy this way too. It's nice. Something he and Nate simply...haven't done before.]
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He tucks his head in against Lestat's shoulder, pressing his forehead against his throat. Trust is something that matters to him. So is intimacy. ]
I'd like that.
[ Then, softly, words pressed against his throat: ]
Lestat? I love you, too.
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And yet this is so perfect.
He lets out a startled little laugh then goes back to what he was doing.]
God, you actually can surprise me still. I didn't think it possible.
[But then he's relaxing again, settling in to savor the moment.]
Thank you. That means the world to me.
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I know it does. I know you. I'm sorry it took me so long.
[ He just doesn't say it easily. He never has, because Nate has rarely felt loved, and so when he feels it himself, it's something special. ]
Thanks for coming to find me.
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[Twisting a strand of hair around his finger, he watches how it looks against his pale skin.]
I'm truly glad I came. Also, you are truly forgiven, I assure you. You're worth waiting for, I should think.
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Nate leans forward to kiss the hand lifting his hair. He looks happy now, his sadness chased away. ]
I'm glad you were willing to. I know how you like being a monster, Lestat. But you're actually a really good man.
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Oh God don't go sharing that. I have a reputation as a bad boy, you know!
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